During the 13th Century, a war is brewing between England and Scotland. And before a major battle, a rebellious Scotsman eats a lot of beans and cabbage, and so he has a lot of gas building up in his system. And when he arrives on the field of battle, he lets rip with a huge, especially stinky fart, the smell of which assaults the English with such ferocity, they retreat back to England, with their faces blue from holding their breath all the way. (This time it is the English who have the blue faces, from holding their breath.)
Then the announcer says sometimes gas can be advantageous, like when it drives enemies away; but at other times, it’s not. And to avoid gas, take Gas-X.
(Braveheart was on tonight, and there’s that battle scene with the waving of bare buttocks at the English, and I couldn’t resist writing this up afterwards.)
