It used to be that the work shed was safe: before there were
only hammers, saws, drills, screwdrivers; but now there’s something dangerous…
Yes, in this ad for a handgun-shaped screwdriver, the actor
guy actually says: “There are lots of ways to attack loose
screws.” Then he calls this pistol-shaped tool a “semi-automatic
screwdriver.” And the way users change bits in this screw gun is to make an action as if they are loading a bullet into a
chamber in a 9 mm pistol.
Oh my God: they’re trying to brainwash us all into gun
violence with their screwdriver! I knew it! Those murderers!
This is even worse than giving boys toy guns to play with,
because when men use this tool and something goes wrong with the project and
they get mad, the tool will remind them of a gun, and then they’ll just grab
one and go on a rampage! And whenever anyone wants to accomplish anything after
using this tool, they’ll automatically reach for a gun, and violence will ensue!
Surely we must ban this hideous weaponized tool before it’s too late!
We’ll be screwed when men start using this screwdriver, mark
my words! It’s time to panic and protest this screw driving crime against humanity!
(I am only joking, of course, but I’m sure someone will
accuse this tool of encouraging gun violence, so I thought I’d try to beat them
to it with satire.)
