Thursday, November 6, 2014

The Malaise Falcon

Miss Wondering hires Sam Spayed to help her find some bird or something, but it’s not really all that important. Plus, she’s tired and has a headache. And Sam Spayed is lazy.

The fat man wants the bird too, but he’s easily distracted by all the great restaurants in San Francisco. And Joel Cairo would like it too, but wow, there’s so much else to do in San Francisco that’s so much easier.

But as fate would have it, they bump into each other and must hash things out. The fat man’s gunsel would have iced them, but it was so much trouble, and he was so fatigued. Anyway, they all kind of want the bird thingy, but it seems like too much work, so they just decide to drink instead.

The cops show up to bust everyone, but no crime has actually been committed, and the cops would rather go home to their families anyway, so they just give up and take off.

So what happens in the end is that someone else makes off with the bird, but they’re caught and killed, with their killer caught by the police, who find out the bird thing is a fake anyway. And so, by being lazy, our heroes and villains manage to avoid bitter disappointment and long prison sentences.

And they all lived uneasily ever after, though they weren’t sure why. (<The definition of malaise, according to the dictionary in my computer. Funny, I thought malaise was more like a kind of lazy morose melancholy, and my thesaurus seems to agree with that definition.)