Thursday, November 6, 2014

KISS in “The Sound of Music”

(Sketch Comedy for Robot Chicken)

The Von Trapps are trying to escape, so they play a concert, hoping to escape at the end. So they take the stage and start singing a song, but the crowd isn’t happy, yelling: “Boo!” “Boo!” “We want KISS!” And so, in response to the crowd, the Von Trapps leave the stage as the backdrop falls, pyrotechnic explosions go off, and KISS appears onstage, performing their hit: “Hotter Than Hell”. The Nazis there say to one another: “KISS, aren’t some of them Jews?” And hearing this, Paul Stanley says to the Nazis: “That’s right, motherf*cker!” And then Gene Simmons breathes fire on the Nazis, lighting them on fire, and as they scream and run around in pain, burning, Gene Simmons comes down from the stage and chops them up with his axe-shaped bass and stomps their remains into a gory mess on the floor with his giant monster-tooth boots, an act which is cheered by all in the music hall. Then KISS goes back to playing their set, beginning with their hit song: “Calling Dr. Love”.

After the show, The Von Trapps are hiding behind the music hall while KISS is loading up into their tour bus. Gene Simmons spies them out of the corner of his eye and invites them to come along with them. On the road out of Austria, KISS encounters Nazi roadblocks and destroys them in a flash of pyrotechnics. Then, once safely out of Nazi-controlled areas, we see Mr. Von Trapp sitting up front in the tour bus with the driver while KISS has sex with their new groupies, Julie Andrews and the older Von Trapp girls, and Mr. Von Trapp says: “We’re grateful and all for saving us from the Nazis, but I mean, isn’t this going a bit far?”