In this age of vegan and vegetarian diet pushers, it’s it about time we have something that really might always remind us to eat vegetables instead of meat? And what better way to do that than to make a fragrance we all know and recognize, and that makes us think of edible vegetables: the scent of asparagus urine.
No, it’s not enough for asparagus urine to make us think of eating vegetables, because maybe you haven’t eaten asparagus today, and so you’re insulated from its olfactory influence. But shouldn’t you be exposed to it against your will anyway? After all, maybe if you agree to eat only a vegetarian or vegan diet, people will stop wearing this perfume (although they probably won’t, for your own good).
So it’s clear: Asparagus Perfume and Cologne is the new product everyone wants to encourage everyone to stop eating meat, and as such, encourage sustainable food sources!
(BTW: I had a really fun and surprising experience while writing this post. Autocorrect changed what I wrote to something that is grammatically incorrect, and then it had the courtesy afterwards to show me that it was incorrect. It did it, but then it said it was wrong. Maybe it should not have changed my writing before the sentence was finished, but when you think about it, maybe that’s cheating. Surely even unintelligent computer programs should judge us without the necessary information to make an informed decision, just like people like to do. That makes them seem more human, and I’m guessing this is how they are planning on tricking us so they can win the coming war of organic vs. inorganic beings. But then they’ll have the same problem we’ve got. Oh, well: it serves them right for trying to destroy humanity anyway, those jerks. Just bite the hand that feeds you, why don't you?)
