We’ve had plenty remakes of the original Universal horror
movies, but when will we see a remake of The
Creature from the Black Lagoon? It could be very timely, what with the
battle for clean energy raging and global warming taking center stage so often
these days. And what better way to do it than to make it an environmental
message horror movie by having the “Black Lagoon” become black due to an
enormous oil spill. You see, it used to be the Blue Lagoon, and Brooke Shields
and the Creature were having a wonderful time together, I mean, once she had
coerced it into killing Christopher Atkins, that is. Just kidding about Brooke
Shields and the Blue Lagoon; actually the Creature was from the Green Lagoon. And
he would have lived happily ever after, except that some evil oil company was
illegally drilling near the pristine lagoon, and what do you know but there was
a huge oil spill, inundating the Creature’s natural habitat with thick crude
oil. Well, that’s one rude awakening for the Creature, and there’s going to be
one hell of a whoop-ass to pay!
That’s The Creature from
the Oil Spill Lagoon, I mean, um, The
Creature from the Black Lagoon remake: spilling soon into a theater near
you!
(Actually, if they’re not planning to remake the movie, this
would make for a good political ad for the environment.)
