I love that there is a TCM Wine Club, even though I don’t
really like wine very much. (The sulfites give me a headache.) But I find it to
no end amusing that they are presuming to pair wines with specific movies. If
they’re going to do this, then I think they should add wines like Mad Dog,
Thunderbird, and Night Train, and pair them to movies like The Bride of the Monster, Kitten
with a Whip, and Murder in the
Private Car, respectively. And if you don’t like those choices, then how
about The Omen, Thunderbirds Are GO, and Night
Train to Munich, respectively? At least there’s a tentative connection
between them, either thematically or name/plot-wise. Or maybe they should call
that the TCM Wino Club.
And where’s The Bride
of Frankenstein in this collection? They could say: “Uncorking this fine
wine wile watching The Bride of
Frankenstein will have you saying: ‘Wine… Good!’ too!” (I guess they
couldn’t use Dracula, because he
says: “I never drink… wine.” But they could use it to segue into their next
club, by saying: “Never drink wine? Then you’ll love the TCM {cigar or liquor}
Club!”)
Then they could start the TCM Cigar Club with the
Frankenstein monster saying: “Smoke… Good!” (The Cuba embargo is being lifted,
I believe, so maybe this will happen soon?) And tons of other movies,
especially older ones, have lots of cigars in them.
BTW: I don’t know what the recommendations are for the TCM
Wine Club or how they were reached, but I thought I’d make fun of them anyway.
Hey, how about a TCM Liquor Club? (<Or the TCM Speakeasy) They could send vodka for
martinis and pair it with any James Bond movie (shaken not stirred), Scotch and/or
rye and pair it with any Humphrey Bogart movie, gin and pair it with The Bride of Frankenstein (“Gin; it’s my
only weakness.”) or The Thin Man, bourbon
and pair it with The Hideous Sun Demon,
absinthe and pair it with Moulin Rouge
(the John Huston one, from 1952: the movie that broke Technicolor’s
stranglehold over color consultation), and maybe Jägermeister paired with a
test pattern.
There’s actually a lot more liquor drinking in classic
movies than there is wine, so I’d think a TCM Liquor Club would make more
sense, actually. I am very well-versed in my classic movies, but somehow I didn’t
really pay enough attention to who drank what in what movie when I was growing
up. Maybe I should pay more attention next time.
Then maybe TCM could have a secret TCM Narcotics Club, where
they pair marijuana with Reefer Madness
and Cheech and Chong movies, cocaine with Super
Fly and Scarface, heroin with A Hatful
of Rain, The Man with the Golden Arm,
Enter the Dragon and The French Connection, LSD with The Trip and Easy Rider, crack with New
Jack City, etc.
