Sunday, November 8, 2015

TCM Wine Club

I love that there is a TCM Wine Club, even though I don’t really like wine very much. (The sulfites give me a headache.) But I find it to no end amusing that they are presuming to pair wines with specific movies. If they’re going to do this, then I think they should add wines like Mad Dog, Thunderbird, and Night Train, and pair them to movies like The Bride of the Monster, Kitten with a Whip, and Murder in the Private Car, respectively. And if you don’t like those choices, then how about The Omen, Thunderbirds Are GO, and Night Train to Munich, respectively? At least there’s a tentative connection between them, either thematically or name/plot-wise. Or maybe they should call that the TCM Wino Club.

And where’s The Bride of Frankenstein in this collection? They could say: “Uncorking this fine wine wile watching The Bride of Frankenstein will have you saying: ‘Wine… Good!’ too!” (I guess they couldn’t use Dracula, because he says: “I never drink… wine.” But they could use it to segue into their next club, by saying: “Never drink wine? Then you’ll love the TCM {cigar or liquor} Club!”)

Then they could start the TCM Cigar Club with the Frankenstein monster saying: “Smoke… Good!” (The Cuba embargo is being lifted, I believe, so maybe this will happen soon?) And tons of other movies, especially older ones, have lots of cigars in them.

BTW: I don’t know what the recommendations are for the TCM Wine Club or how they were reached, but I thought I’d make fun of them anyway.

Hey, how about a TCM Liquor Club? (<Or the TCM Speakeasy) They could send vodka for martinis and pair it with any James Bond movie (shaken not stirred), Scotch and/or rye and pair it with any Humphrey Bogart movie, gin and pair it with The Bride of Frankenstein (“Gin; it’s my only weakness.”) or The Thin Man, bourbon and pair it with The Hideous Sun Demon, absinthe and pair it with Moulin Rouge (the John Huston one, from 1952: the movie that broke Technicolor’s stranglehold over color consultation), and maybe Jägermeister paired with a test pattern.

There’s actually a lot more liquor drinking in classic movies than there is wine, so I’d think a TCM Liquor Club would make more sense, actually. I am very well-versed in my classic movies, but somehow I didn’t really pay enough attention to who drank what in what movie when I was growing up. Maybe I should pay more attention next time.

Then maybe TCM could have a secret TCM Narcotics Club, where they pair marijuana with Reefer Madness and Cheech and Chong movies, cocaine with Super Fly and Scarface, heroin with A Hatful of Rain, The Man with the Golden Arm, Enter the Dragon and The French Connection, LSD with The Trip and Easy Rider, crack with New Jack City, etc.