Wednesday, November 4, 2015

Controversy Cuisinart

Yes, folks, for all you people cooking up a wicked brew of divisiveness, it’s the new Controversy Cuisinart: It stirs controversy! It pulverizes sanity and journalistic integrity! It agitates anger and produces outrage! It mixes up the facts into a malign purée of misrepresentation! Don’t accidentally get caught in its whirling blades or it will tear you apart and spit you out! Use it on others whom you wish to destroy! It’s dishwasher safe and cleans away responsibility for negative effects completely, and its easy seal top keeps the slinging mud from spraying out and sticking to you, protecting you from your own slime!

That’s the Controversy Cuisinart: Order yours today!