Yes, for CSI and other murder/crime show and serial killer documentary enthusiasts, it’s finally here: the Glade Corpse Flower Plug-In Air Freshener!
They’ve made floral-scented air fresheners for years, but now, finally, they are catering to people who are fascinated with murder! TV shows and movies about murder and serial killers give you all the visceral visuals you can take, but where are the scents? In fact, what sense is there in making these things without the scents? It’s non-scents! (Oh, oops: sorry for the bad pun.) After all, advertising has trumpeted the (dubious) fact that scent is the sense most tied to memory, so how are we supposed to remember how much we loved all the murder shows and movies if we never smell the scent of death and decay? Surely this is the all-immersive experience we’ve all been waiting for, and it will blow IMAX and 3-D out of the water!
Plus, because it’s named after an actual, real flower that people are fascinated by, you can claim you bought it because you love flowers, and not because you’re a repressed murderer (even though you obviously are, watching reprehensible programming such as serial killer stuff, you monster, you*).
Get the nasal sensation of killing people and burying their bodies underneath your house without all the police hassle, with Glade Plug-Ins Corpse Flower Scented Air Freshener.
(This is just a joke. Please don’t sue me.)
* I tried to warn people about you, but they wouldn’t listen. (Oh, well: at least I tried.)
* I tried to warn people about you, but they wouldn’t listen. (Oh, well: at least I tried.)
