Thursday, August 4, 2016

Sticky Ads

There’s some Internet advertising company called Sticky Ads. I only know about it because I erased it from my Internet preferences website data menu tonight.

Wow, what a yucky name for a company! I hope I didn’t get any sticky ads on me from them! (I never visited any website of theirs, so it stuck to me without my knowledge or intent. It seems kind of like an STD you can catch from a toilet seat.)

I can hear someone’s mother now: “Did you get those sticky ads on you again? Well, go and wash them off! You could catch something from those things!”

It makes me think of that Rolling Stones album: “Sticky Fingers”. What made those ads sticky? I shudder to think of the possibilities!

How about calling themselves Infectious Ads, or Contagious Ads instead? Oh, that’s just about as bad? Oh, sorry.

Maybe we can use Goof Off on these sticky ads to get rid of them?

I mean, I get what they’re trying to say, but it really gives me a yuck reaction.

(You know, after considering it further, contrary to my initial reaction to its icky appellation, Sticky Ads kind of reminds me of those great Wacky Packages {“Wacky Packs”, as we used to call them} joke ad stickers that came in trading card packages when I was in elementary school. I wish Internet ads were as much fun as Wacky Packs. Apparently they got sued out of existence, but that was before the Supreme Court “Parody Ruling” from the Jerry Falwell Vs. Larry Flint case. Another instance of corporations trying to kill freedom of expression in America. Don’t they know that jokes about their ads only act as ads for their products anyway? They remind us of the original ads, and that reminds us of the products. Reminding us about their products is the entire reason advertising exists in the first place! Remember: No publicity is bad publicity!)