Jed Clampett was a poor mountaineer who barely kept his
family fed, so he occasionally set up fake detour signs along the highway
service roads drivers sometimes used to try to avoid backed up traffic, and
when the drivers followed the detour back into the wilderness, he would slash
their tires with a spike strip, kidnap the drivers, along with any passengers
unlucky enough to be with them, and then he’d staughter and butcher them and
feed them to his family, claiming the meat was “road kill” (which technically
was kind of accurate). Then he collected all the oil from all of his victims’ cars,
and he poured it into a hole in the ground to make it look like he had legitimately
struck oil on his property, he sold his land to an oil company, moved to
Beverly Hills, and he continued his cannibalistic activities there, where
horrific hilarity ensued.
