When I was in elementary school, there was some made-for-TV mini-series called The Bastard, which was based upon some best-selling historical novel about Colonial America and the Revolutionary War. The promo ads for this show always made me laugh, because they didn’t really show us much of what it was about, except to explain that it’s based on that novel, and then it ended with the eponymous character, in full Colonial-era costume, looking at the camera and saying: “I, am a bastard!” Well, that promo kept bouncing around in my head, especially since back in the 1970s, the word “bastard” was still considered a really naughty word on television, but because it was being used in its literal sense, and because it was actually the title of this novel, they were being allowed to use it (I guess). But this scenario of the guy saying: “I, am a bastard!” suggested such silly possibilities to me, I never forgot it.
So I used to joke about this promo ad with the following take-off: This guy, the titular bastard of the mini-series, says to some others in a room with him (rather than at the camera), just like in the actual promo: “I, am a bastard!” But this time, he gets responses from other characters. So he says: “I, am a bastard!” And some other guy says: “Yeah, tell me about it, you son of a bitch!” And that bastard guy says: “No, I mean, I am a bastard!” And someone else says: “I know you are, you asshole!” And the bastard says (becoming frustrated): “No! I mean, I am, a bastard!” And someone else says: “Yeah, you are, you piece of sh*t!” And the bastard says (more and more frustrated): “No! I mean, I am…” And then the announcer says: “The Bastard: Monday night at 9 on NBC!”
Here’s the IMDB page about the TV mini-series (I never got to see this, but what a great cast! William Shatner is Paul Revere!):
And here’s the Wikipedia page for the novel The Bastard:
And here’s a promo for this TV mini-series I never saw (I can’t find the one I’m making fun of: sorry.):
