I saw something on Fox News recently where they said to check something out on Fox News Latino. And I was like: “Wait, Fox News Latino? That’s not even convincing Spanglish. If you want Latino viewers, then give them something they can relate to: ¡Noticias del Zorro!” After all, wasn’t Zorro always fighting for the downtrodden native Hispanics in his movies? So what better way to change their image from the Hispanic-hating Red-Neck Richie Rich-supporters than to appropriate the Zorro name for their news agency? After all, 20th Century-Fox made the classic version of the Zorro movie (well, after Douglas Fairbanks’s silent classic, that is), so then they ought to still own the rights to Zorro, right? (Zorro means Fox: sorry if you were lost there for a minute.) So then to try to trick the Latino community into thinking they had their interests at heart, um, I mean, to exploit a cultural brand for propaganda purposes, er, that is; oh, never mind: Anyway, I think they ought to translate Fox News to: ¡“Noticias del Zorro”! That way, they could have their news anchors and reporters dress up as Zorro in a black mask and cape to report in. So then everyone watching would trust them as having their interests at heart, like the character Zorro did in fiction! (And if Fox News, um, that is, Noticias del Zorro is accused of being fictional news, they could say that of course it’s fictional news, since it’s delivered by a fictional character. Then they could get away with anything!) And if they ever reported stories that made people angry enough to want to attack them, then they could simply remove their masks, and nobody would be able to recognize them. Then they could spew whatever propaganda they wanted to, and they could get away clean. It’s the perfect disguise! (Hey, it worked for Zorro in so many books and movies, so why not for news people?)
So it’s clear: Fox News Latino should re-brand themselves: ¡“Noticias del Zorro”!
