FBI head Mueller warned yesterday about cyber attacks on our military that could debilitate our forces in time of war. Hey, I have an idea: Why don’t we unplug our military computers from the Internet? (And how about a separate, dedicated internet for important stuff like energy grids, etc., so nobody could hack in?) Then we could use old WWII-era communications to send encrypted code messages for military stuff; nobody would be expecting that! Or is that cheating? I’m not a military man, so I don’t have to play by their rules, man. But if they don’t get creative, then it is a problem!
If I were the military, I would run a fake everything over the Internet, and I’d do everything for real some other way. Maybe they should send people with tattooed secret messages in submarines to deliver them, or else use carrier pigeons again. How about a Facebook page for some fictitious individual, with all his bragging about partying as coded messages? How about a MySpace band page for some fictitious jazz-rock fusion band, and have all the notes they play translate into coded messages? (Since fusion music is always unlistenable anyway, nobody would ever figure out it was a code! Just make it extra-fast and -intricate, and it would be perfect!) In any case, it’s surely better than having hackers find out about everything ahead of time from our official servers, right?
Oh, and anyone who leaves a nuclear missile silo online for others to hack into is an idiot! I’m sorry to have to say so, but it’s true.
There must be a way to beat these hackers, especially if we go lo-tech on them, so let’s get on it, guys!
