Procrustes was a mythological guy who would stretch people to fit a specific bed, or else cut their legs to fit the bed. So I was thinking, how come those penis pumps that claim to enlarge men’s wieners aren’t called Procrustean condoms? Because after all, isn’t this the same idea? (A tube that tries to force one’s penis to extend to fill it up, using a vacuum? I mean, Procrustes didn't use a vacuum, but he might have had there been any back then.)
Maybe they don’t call it that because not so many people are familiar with the Procrustes story as there used to be. But then again, maybe it’s the cutting off part of the story that makes people not want to associate it with penis things. Who knows?
But how about a penis pump called the "Procrustean Penis Pump"? It could come with a guarantee: They will guarantee that if it doesn't work to stretch you out to the length of the pump, they will cut it off for you! (At least that would give you incentive to succeed, and dissuade people who failed from mentioning the guarantee.) Maybe they could have Pam Grier do their ads for them! (She cut off someone's johnson in Foxy Brown.)
But how about a penis pump called the "Procrustean Penis Pump"? It could come with a guarantee: They will guarantee that if it doesn't work to stretch you out to the length of the pump, they will cut it off for you! (At least that would give you incentive to succeed, and dissuade people who failed from mentioning the guarantee.) Maybe they could have Pam Grier do their ads for them! (She cut off someone's johnson in Foxy Brown.)
