Now that the price of gold has spiked through the roof, companies like Goldline are starting to hawk silver as well. They say that “silver has actually outperformed gold”, or some such thing, and then they say we should all buy silver from them. (Maybe they’re running out of gold?) But none of these companies are addressing the issue that really makes silver stand apart from gold: it is worth far less, and as such, it is much easier for people without a lot of money to invest in it. (I am not recommending it, I am merely commenting on this advertising trend.)
Maybe these companies are too snobby to even consider that the less wealthy among us might want to invest in precious metals, or perhaps they are simply avoiding the issue, but these companies that sell silver never seem to mention that people with less money can more easily afford to invest in silver than gold. But if they’re going to do it, they really ought to do it right. They’re a bunch of rich snobs, so they need to be sure they include the correct amount of arrogant superiority in their pitch to trick people into wasting their hard-earned money on, um, I mean, to convince people to invest in silver.
What they ought to say is something like this: “Gold is a wonderful investment, and its value has skyrocketed in the current financial climate. But if you’re too poor to buy gold, we will deign to lower ourselves to accept your grubby money for silver instead. After all, your money is worth something just like everyone else’s is, I suppose, even if you have so very little of it. So we will condescend to sell you silver if you’re too destitute to invest in gold. Just please don’t tell anyone about it: we don’t want people to think we’re hob-nobbing with the rif-raff! And besides, if you lose your shirt, it’s likely not going to be a very nice one anyway, so you can probably go replace it at K-Mart pretty easily. After all, it’s not like you wear fine tailoring like us, right?”
See what I mean? That way it would have that wonderful sense of condescension and snob appeal that people respond so well to. Don’t you think so?
But all these gold and silver investment companies are missing out on the best ad campaign strategy to sell people on silver and gold: TV special nostalgia! So they could open with Burl Ives as that snowman from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer singing “Silver and Gold”, and then they could get the snowman to hawk their wares for them! It can’t miss! After all, everybody trusts snowmen, right? Especially with financial and investment strategy stuff, these snowmen guys are wizards! (Everyone always says investment bankers are cold-blooded, so that proves they’re all snowmen in disguise!) So they ought to do it today!
