Thursday, March 8, 2012

Invisible Cars: I Don’t See A Problem, Do You?

Mercedes Benz has just made the invisibility cloak for cars a reality! This is great! And I can’t see anything wrong with this idea, can you? With all cars invisible, as they soon will be after this, the roads will always look clear! Rush hour will be a thing of the past! With nothing but the open road and you, your commute time will be slashed in half! I see the future, and it’s amazing!

Oh, but if you don’t see the cars on the road, then won’t you hit them; and if your car is invisible, won’t other cars smash into you? (<Don’t listen to that buzzkill pansy crap! We’re talking invisible cars here! Only a loser would worry about stuff like safety! After all, what evidence is there to suggest this would cause more accidents? That’s right: there isn’t any! {Mostly because there aren’t any invisible cars on the road yet! But hey: we don’t know that for sure! If we can’t see them, then how do we know there aren’t lots and lots on the road already? And have you hit one yet? No? So then it is safe! I told you!})

Oh, and another beauty about this scenario is that if your parking meter is about to expire, then you can just make your car invisible, and you won’t get a ticket! And if the cops start chasing you, you can just become invisible and get away! (Unless there’s been an invisible police car following you the whole time already, and it boxes you in!)

And best yet, when it comes time to sell your car, you can just turn on the invisibility cloak feature, and it will hide all the damage you’ve sustained from all the accidents you’re not going to have because nobody can see your car driving on the road! Plus, they’ll be so amazed by the invisibility cloak, they will forget to ask to see what it looks like! And, you may even be able to get someone to pay you for the car, and then you can just get into the invisible car and make off with the cash and keep the car! They’ll never find you!

Here’s the scintillating story of the amazing car of the future: