In an effort to prevent Californians from being oppressed by
Christianity, the Easter Bunny is being replaced. First it was going to be
called the Spring Bunny, but with it hosting an egg hunt, everyone knew it was
still the Easter Bunny, since that’s the only bunny that sponsors egg hunts.
So, thinking to distract everyone, California decided to
call the bunny the Playboy Bunny, and this bunny would sponsor a breast implant
hunt. After all, breast implants are sort of round and look a bit like
gelatinous eggs, so it’s sort of similar; plus, kids can save them for later
use, seeing as how it’s California (boys can squeeze them, and girls can save
them for when they get their boob job).
Of course, this selection has ruffled some feathers, with
some claiming it’s sexist and even less appropriate to have a pornographic
mascot replacing a religious one. But they’re just spoiled sports, so nobody’s
listening to them.
