Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Russia Warns Ukraine Over Insurgency

Russia has warned Ukraine not to use force against the ethnically Russian Ukrainians who have stormed and taken over several government buildings in Eastern Ukraine and demanded referendums to leave Ukraine and join Russia.

But this is a very reasonable request, and to set a good example of how to properly behave as a country, Russia promised it wouldn’t use force against any insurgents inside Russia either. In fact, Russian President Vladimir Putin actively encouraged all political dissidents, terrorists, and anti-Putin protesters to come out of the woodwork and let their voices be heard, as well as to use whatever forceful, bullying, violent, militarist tactics they want, and no one will do anything about it, just to show Ukraine how a nice country handles things like this: by letting pugnacious small political sects just do whatever the hell they want to try to get what they want without consequence. In fact, reportedly Putin plans to allow pro-EU groups and pro-American groups have their own sham referendums to join the EU and the United States, and whatever the result is, he will respect it and let them join whatever country they want to, even if the vote is held with a gun to everyone’s head, and staying part of Russia is not on the ballot. Because, you know, that’s what a just country would do. And of course, that’s what Russia is demanding Ukraine do, or else!

(Just kidding! This is obviously a Russian military operation using the same strategy they did to invade and steal Crimea: have operatives stir up trouble, create violent conflict, then invade under the guise of protecting civilians: very cynical.)

Here’s the unsurprising story:

http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2014-04-08/russia-warns-ukraine-against-military-action-in-east.html

(You know, if I were in charge of the Ukrainian response to this separatist building occupation, I would simply turn off the water and electricity to the buildings, set up a new meeting place for the local governments, put riot police around the buildings, and say: "Okay guys, have fun in there!" and then ignore them.)