Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Spawn Stars (The Animal Planet Reality Show)

The popularity of the reality show Pawn Stars made me think of another reality show that uses a similar name: Spawn Stars.

Yes, it's Spawn Stars: the upcoming Animal Planet reality series about the salmon that are the most successful at spawning, and what attributes make them the best at it. So we'd see all the most macho, he-man stuff salmon, as well as all the sultriest she-woman stuffest salmon, and we'd see what makes a male or female salmon hot-to-trot to other salmon; you know, so that in a future life, were we to come back as salmon, we'd know how best to get it on come spawnin' time. (And to sponsor the show, they could run advertising from all the salmon cosmetics companies, showing off all the latest and greatest products for making salmon more attractive and hence more likely to reproduce! And in this way, helping salmon get it on, Animal Planet can be sure there will always be plenty of salmon in the wild.)

And if Spawn Stars is a big hit for Animal Planet, they could make another reality show with a title that plays off the name Pawn Stars: Pond Stars. Pond Stars would be all about frogs and other creatures that thrive in ponds. (And, naturally, Budweiser would sponsor the show, dusting off their old "Bud" frog ads.)