I know there isn’t a Just for Men chest hair dye, but maybe there should be. After all, we’ve been seeing lots of recent pictures of KISS lately due to the kerfuffle over their induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, and Paul Stanley seems to have no gray chest hair. He’s 62, so I’d say that’s not likely, to say the least. And so it seems not only clear that there is a need for men’s chest hair dye, but that KISS (and Paul Stanley specifically) should be in the ads to sell it.
So here’s how this ad would work:
KISS would be playing live in front of an audience made up of fans their own age, most of whom have gray hair, and we’d hear that famous Paul Stanley intro to “calling Dr. Love” from KISS Alive II, but this time he’d say:
“Alright! I know everybody’s old, everybody’s got tufts of gray hair! So let’s call out Just for Men!”
And here are the new lyrics to “Calling Dr. Love” (Now “Calling Just for Men”):
I need your dye, baby, oh so bad,
I’ve got gray chest hair and I think it’s sad,
Cause if you think I’m looking elderly,
Don’t you know I’ll be in misery?
So dye me, (Just for Men),
So dye me Just for Men, (Dye me Just for Men),
You are the dyer of hair, (Just for Me-en!)
You are the dyer of hair, (Just for Me-en!)
Give me the hair I’m dreaming of.
(And as they sing this song, every man in the audience has their hair transform from gray to their original natural hair color, even the exposed chest hair of men with unbuttoned shirts.)
Here’s “Calling Dr. Love” from KISS Alive II:
