Friday, May 23, 2014

Chilling Effect Ice Cream

We keep hearing about how limits on free speech will cause a “chilling effect” on people’s ability to express themselves. So that’s why it’s better to make everyone eat too much ice cream instead! If everyone eats enough ice cream, it will give them brain freeze, and they won’t be able to think of anything to say! Or, failing that, it will numb their tongues, and they can say whatever they want, but no one will understand it!

Yes, in this age of censorship and political correctness, the best thing to do is to force-feed everyone Chilling Effect Brand Ice Cream! (I know, I know: the obesity epidemic. But isn’t it worth shaving years off everyone’s lives if we can prevent them from saying stuff we don’t want to hear? Only a monster would say no!)