New Gamera Movie?

The new Godzilla movie is going to be huge, if expectations are realized, and so doesn’t that mean all the great Japanese giant monster movies should be remade?

Okay, so maybe not all of them, but how about the big ones, like Gamera? It would be a good movie to make, because the plastic bag industry could finance it and show how banning plastic bags will allow monsters like Gamera to destroy humanity without plastic bags to kill them before they grow to enormous size.

(Apparently plastic bags kill turtles. But that’s why Gamera has never killed us all! Don’t you want plastic bags now? Save them up and maybe you can still save the world from the wrath of Gamera! If you don’t, don’t blame me when Gamera kills you all!)

But to really sell the plastic bags will save Earth idea, Gamera should be killed with an enormous plastic grocery bag; but only after millions are killed and the government has to cave to repeal the plastic bag ban, which is what made us all vulnerable to Gamera’s wrath to begin with! (Brought to you by Plastic Fantastic: The SuperPAC that shows you how plastics make it possible!)

BTW: This is Gamera:

http://img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130812221422/godzilla/images/c/cd/Heisei_Gamera_HandSlap.jpg

http://img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130812221225/godzilla/images/4/46/Showa_Gamera_Fire.jpg

http://ireofpurgatory.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/Gamera-city.jpg

(Want to ban plastic bags now?)