The Remington Microscreen electric razor company used to end their ads with the guarantee: "Shaves as close as a blade or your money back!" But when discussing this with a friend of mine who said he tried to return the razor only to be stymied by the unexpected fine print hoop of a 30-day timeframe for returns, it dawned on me that the guarantee doesn't actually specify what kind of blade their electric razor is guaranteed to shave as close as. If they wanted to be jerks about it, they could claim they meant it would shave as close as a butter knife blade, and then deny all returns on that hair-splitting condition. (Guaranteed to split hairs as close as a contract lawyer or your money back!)
Actually, I have no reason to besmirch the reputation of the Remington Microscreen, because while it failed to shave as close as the blades I shaved with at the time I got mine (I used a Wilkinson Sword single-blade cartridge that is still the best shave I've ever had back then; it was discontinued due to all the triple- and quadruple-bladed disposable razors flooding the market about 15 or so years ago, with their accompanying media blitz across all advertising platforms saturating everyone's short-term memory, and people stopped buying the traditional razors just enough to end the product's run.), it shaved suitably close enough to be acceptable, and it was a lot easier than having to lather up and such, especially when it's only a day or so's whisker growth, which can cause rashes and razor burn when shaving with a blade if you try to rush it. But it did occur to me that the Remington guarantee did not specify what kind of a blade the Remington promised to shave as close as, and as such, they could likely legally get away with refusing all returns if they wanted to.
And this return time limit is a real problem with some things. Apparently it takes a couple of weeks for your face to get used to using a new electric razor before it really begins to work well, and as such, a 30-day time limit for returns would not even permit anyone to find out if the razor works well for them or not before it's too late to return it, and for me, that's a far bigger issue with the guarantee than the vague, lawyerly language used in the ads.
Here's a Remington Microscreen ad from the 1980s with the guarantee right up front:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z2mlehyulEc
(I wonder if some hair-splitting lawyer could return the razor and then sue them for false advertising using the reasoning that while they refunded him the full amount, they did not return "his money", as in the same bills and coins he purchased the razor with. That would be a just retribution if they ever used the unspecified blade type to deny someone's refund.)
Return policies generally make consumers jump through numerous hoops the get a refund (if a refund is even possible at all, as opposed to store credit, or a new version of the same article purchased, and that's essentially to make it too difficult for most people to be able to return anything. So someone playing that same trick back on a store that's particularly asinine in this department would be a fun kind of turnabout to see happen. (I think the ease of the return policy is why Macy's has built such strong customer loyalty lately. Macy's is one of the only retail outlets to be doing well nowadays, and there must be a reason for it.)
