Here in California, one of the most often asked questions lately has been: “Paper or plastic?” (Referring to the kind of bag you’d like to carry your groceries home in.) But recent laws have sought to limit our options! What difference does it make? Let’s take a look:
Well, plastic bags can suffocate you (and babies, despite clearly-written warnings babies fail to heed), and they hurt marine animals.
But paper bags give you extra-painful paper cuts, so they definitely love to see you suffer. Plus, they’re super flammable, so they’re obviously trying to burn you (and your family) to death! And, they can tear, spilling your groceries on the pavement, and while you try to pick them up, a car runs you over!
So, what have we learned? Well, it’s obvious that our government has allowed the paper lobby to threaten us all with torture and violence! Plastic would never do such a thing! (Or would it?) (Brought to you by Plastic Fantastic: the SuperPAC that shows you how plastics make it possible!)
BTW: I heard plastic bags only harm marine animals to protect us all from shark attacks and stuff. But if you don’t appreciate it, then fine. Maybe next time they’ll just let the sharks eat you. Would you prefer that?
BTW: I heard plastic bags only harm marine animals to protect us all from shark attacks and stuff. But if you don’t appreciate it, then fine. Maybe next time they’ll just let the sharks eat you. Would you prefer that?
