Thursday, January 26, 2017

Darth Vader Accused of Excessive Force

Darth Vader was arraigned today on accusations that he has used excessive force against combatants and his underlings. Numerous glowing see-though figures appeared at his hearing to attest to his excessive use of force. His only comment in his defense was: “If you only knew the power of the dark side!” before he was granted bail.

Before the hearing he was heard to say, to a court official, through an unexpectedly hot microphone: “The Empire will compensate you if I’m released.”