Thursday, January 26, 2017

Head & Shoulders Snow-Themed Characters Ad Campaign (Joke/Proposed)

Mr. Snow Miser, from Rankin Bass’s The Year Without a Santa Claus, sings his song, and someone notices he has flakes on his shoulders, so they say he really is the Snow Miser for sure! And he says he knew he always should have been the Cold Miser to avoid those flakes on his shoulders, but you have to play to what you’re written. But then he’s told that after using Head & Shoulders dandruff shampoo, he can be the Snow Miser and still have no flakes where he doesn’t want them. And he says he always knew he had the power to create flakes wherever he wanted, but now he has the power to avoid them where he doesn’t want them, thanks to Head & Shoulders!

This is the Snow Miser song, for those who are unfamiliar with this camp classic Christmas TV Special:

And then they sing the new song that goes:

I’m Mr. Snow Miser, I’m Sir Snow Flakes,
But with Head & Shoulders, I have no shoulder flakes,
They call me Snow Miser, whatever I touch,
Turns to snow in my clutch, but no dandruff.

Then, further ads would use other snow-themed characters to keep the campaign going, like Frosty the Snowman, and Jon Snow from Game of Thrones, like so:

Frosty the Snowman would have some flakes on his scarf, and his friends would help him brush them off. But then they realize they’re not snowflakes at all, but dandruff flakes, so they get grossed out. But then someone tells Frosty to use Head & Shoulders shampoo, and it gets rid of all the flakes except for the snow flakes. Then we hear a little song about it, based upon the Frosty the Snowman theme song, which goes:

Frosty the Snowman, has some flakes that are not snow,
But he uses Head & Shoulders and then off away they go!

And here’s the Frosty the Snowman theme song:

And then, next, with Jon Snow, we see him in his all black “Crow” uniform, and someone notices he has some flakes on his shoulders. He says it’s just snow, but they say it’s not snowing, and then they find out to their horror that it’s dandruff. Jon Snow says surely he can just comb them out, but Ygritte appears to him as a ghost and says: “You know nothing, Jon Snow!” And so he consults with the Maester at Castle Black, who says he must use Head & Shoulders to rid himself of the flakes which are not the snow but yet fall, and he shall fulfill his destiny. And so Jon Snow uses Head & Shoulders shampoo, and everyone in the wars to come are so distracted by his flakeless, flowing, sexy hair that they are too smitten to fight back, and Jon Snow wins back Winterfell, and then King’s Landing. And when Daenerys Targaryen sees him, she immediately recognizes Jon Snow to be the one for her: the only person in her world without dandruff, and so they get married. And thereafter everyone who does not use Head & Shoulders shampoo gets fed to Daenerys’s dragons. But her dragons still prefer not to eat dandruff, so their victims have to use Head & Shoulders shampoo before they’re sacrificed or else the dragons will go on a rampage and everyone will die a horrible death. And so it is decreed that henceforth everyone in Westeros shall use Head & Shoulders, and then the dragons will only eat people from Essos. And they deserve it for not using Head & Shoulders. The End.