Lean Cuisine Slenderman Joke Ad

In this joke ad for Lean Cuisine, we learn that Slenderman, the internet boogeyman, used to be a fat jolly man like Santa Claus, but then his doctor told him he was overweight and had high blood pressure, so he had to go on a diet. But this diet, which made him slender, also made him a homicidal maniac, out to get revenge on humanity for the lousy tasting food he had to eat to remain slender, denying himself all the pleasures of life he had previously enjoyed. Oh, but then one of his almost victims told him about Lean Cuisine: a brand of easily prepared dishes that taste delicious while also keeping him thin, saving the almost victim's life, and also that of all other potential victims since. And so Slenderman became a nice man again, and never harmed anyone else, thanks to Lean Cuisine! (Of course, he was never punished for him crimes, and so unless he gets enough Lean Cuisine to eat, he may return with a vengeance, so help support your local Slenderman Lean Cuisine food drive: sign up at a grocers near you, or you may be next!)