Fiora is a relatively new brand of paper product like toilet paper and paper towels. Their tagline, seen in their Olympics ads, is: “Fiora: Stay Bright”. I’m not sure why that’s their tagline, but when it come to their toilet paper, I think there are some others that might be more appropriate, like: “Fiora: The Rip-Roaring Toilet Paper”. This tagline would be at the end of an ad showing a lion taking a dump and then wiping his butt with the Fiora toilet paper, but because it tears so easily, it just sticks, tears, and the lion is left looking at the toilet paper with a hole in it, meaning it’s just stuck in his butt now, and the lion roars in angry disapproval. That’s what really happens when someone tries to use Fiora toilet paper for such a purpose, but don’t ask me how I know. (Hey, Charmin has the bears, so why not use lions for a competing brand’s ad campaign?)
Also, how about: “Fiora: It Gets Lost in Your Eyes”? I only suggest that because I have mild eye allergies, and I have to use eye drops from time-to-time, and when I do, I dab my eyes with tissues afterwards so the eye drops don’t run down my face. And mostly, for the sake of convenience, I use bathroom tissue for this purpose, which works pretty well, except for when the tissue is excessively “soft”, and it’s powdery, and it then gets in my eyes. But Fiora is so weak and thin, it actually tears apart and sticks to my eyes, so then I have to pick it off of my eyelids afterwards, which is a supreme pain-in-the-ass. It’s a shame, because if it were strong enough not to tear and stick to my face, it would be the very best tissues ever for this purpose, because it has such a great smooth surface texture and is agreeably absorbent.
Yes, I’m sad to report that Fiora toilet paper is about the weakest toilet paper I’ve ever used, and it tears apart far before it can do its job, which is a shame, because apart from that, it’s really got a lot going for it, because it doesn’t turn to powder or create mounds of dust every time you tear a sheet off, and it doesn’t have a scratchy texture that feels like newspaper or sandpaper like other environmentally friendly brands do. If they made it stronger so that it didn’t tear so easily, it would likely be the best toilet paper in the country. I hope they will fix this issue, and they will be a great quality product.
Here’s the softy spot:
Oh, but I never did figure out what their tagline means. “Fiora: Stay Bright” for a paper towel/tissue/toilet paper brand? What does that mean, exactly? Does it glow in the dark or something? Or should we be bright enough to buy a different brand (until they make it stronger enough to work well for what we need it for)?
(BTW: No offense to Fiora, but I’m just being honest about what it’s like to use their stuff. Just make it stronger so it doesn’t fail so easily, and it will be the best brand in the country, I think. So I hope they’ll fix that one little quibble that makes such a big difference to its efficacy, and I hope when they do, they announce it loud and clear on their packaging so everyone will know. {Update: Fiora makes a thicker product now, called Fiora 230, and it is absolutely the best bathroom tissue available where I live.})
