Russian Figure Skating Team Invades Ukraine

In a dastardly but brilliant military ploy, Russian President Vladimir Putin ordered the Russian figure skating team into Ukraine late last week. The plan was simple: have the new Olympic champions show up for impromptu performances in Ukraine seemingly in celebration of the Russian cultural influence on the region, and as ambassadors for the Russian people. Oh, but while they performed and the people came out to watch them, Russian military troops slipped into Ukraine unnoticed, and when the skating was over, there were Russian troops everywhere. Pretty sneaky, and ice cold, of Russia to think of it.