Russian Nuclear Winter

A Putin-backed Russian newscaster said Russia can turn America into radioactive dust. Yeah, um, so can America. And America could also do that to Russia if we wanted. Sound like fun, Mr. Propagandist?

But there’s one thing our prospective genocidal friends are not thinking about, and that’s this: Let’s say Russia does a first strike nuke attack on the United States and our forces do not retaliate by launching nuclear missiles back at them (as wildly unlikely as that scenario is). What would happen next?

Well, Russia is one of the coldest countries in the world, and they’d unleash a nuclear winter for years to come, making it impossible for them to grow any crops, and likely killing all their livestock. And I wonder how much the other countries of the world would want to help Russia if they did that to everyone? Not much, I’d guess. So either they’d all die in a retaliatory strike, or else they’d all starve and freeze to death. I mean, after they get all their glorious medals, parades and stuff.

Yes, keep up that saber-rattling, dumbass. Where I come from, people who make threats like that end up in the hospital, so keep it up: you may end up getting a lot more than you bargained for in your glorious nuclear genocide. Remember Mutual Assured Destruction? It turns out we don’t even need to strike back to guarantee that happens anymore. But don’t let that stop you from destroying yourselves.

We always hear about the Russian winter, and how it defeats the enemies of Russia: well, wait until it’s a nuclear winter and it’s way worse than ever before. Then it would even defeat the Russians, and by their own hand, ironically.

(The fact is, America loves the Russian people, but Russians are sadly misinformed by their propaganda news to think we’re still their enemies. Oh, well. I hope that comforts them when their government decides to destroy their -- and our -- future.)