Thursday, January 1, 2015

Shell Game (The Animated Movie)

Shell Game is the upcoming animated children's movie about con artist anti-heroes who are turtles. They start out as street hustlers playing three-card monty and such, but after watching all the Wall Street corruption in the financial crash, and how all the big fish got away with everything plus bonuses, they graduate to full-blown white-collar corporate crime, using all the legal loopholes in business regulations and tax policy, as well as making lots of campaign contributions to politicians who help them, in order to bilk and scam their way into billions! Usually corrupt corporate executives are the villains of children's movies, but this movie embraces our corrupt system and seeks to teach children how to flourish in the rigged world of big business, investment banking and finance!

And so eventually our heroic scamps get caught, but because they're so rich, they're too big to fail; plus, they have so many friends in high places, it creates a virtual shell to protect them from prosecution. So not only do they get away with everything, they also get a bailout on top of it all, and they run off with all the loot from that as well!

That's Shell Game: a practical lesson for our children on how success really works in high-stakes American business! Coming soon to a theater near you!

(And if this strikes a responsive chord with audiences, we can look forward to the sequel: Shell Corporation, all about the further antics of the "too big to fail" turtles.)