Wow, Subaru has made a car that turns adults back into
children, and then lets them drive before they’re old enough to legally drive?
Wow, talk about irresponsible! These kids will kill us all on the roads, being
too diminutive to even see that road properly, and it’s Subaru’s obvious
intention for this to happen! (Those monsters! Maybe this is how Subaru plans
to get revenge against people who do not buy Subarus: killer children driving
Subarus on the roads? They already have another ad where a little boy is
driving his father to work, and another where a father gives the car keys to a
little girl, so this must be their dastardly purpose! {I knew it!})
Wow, if someone invented a machine to make people younger,
there are so many better things to do with it than make them drive around as
children, endangering society. And Subaru has apparently invented this, and
that’s what they’re using it for? How reckless. (I hope they at least include
telephone books for the kid versions of people, so they can sit on them and see
over the steering wheel.)
Plus the claim of the ad: that you are only young once
unless you own a Subaru; wow, old people who own Subarus should sue Subaru over
this claim, demonstrating that they indeed do
own a Subaru, but they’re still old, and the ad makes a false claim about
making them young again. (That sounds like pain and suffering, the expectation
of being young again, only to be dashed with false claims. I think I smell a class
action lawsuit…)
Here’s the agelessness-asserting automobile advert:
