The Pernicious Peanut is an anthropomorphic peanut character
not unlike Mr. Peanut, the Planters Peanuts logo/mascot. Oh, but the Pernicious
Peanut is not a nice guy like Mr. Peanut! No, he is a villainous, tough nut who
is totally nuts.
The Pernicious Peanut is a proud peanut indeed, and when he
found out some people are actually allergic to peanuts, he became incensed, and
in a rage he decided to get revenge for the perceived insult to peanuts.
And so our nefarious nut the Pernicious Peanut seeks to find
out who has peanut allergies, and when he finds someone with one, he covertly slips
peanuts into their food to poison them. And when he does it, he dresses them up
like Mr. Peanut to try to frame him
for the crime (!).
Also, when you read on the packaging that everything you eat
is produced in a plant and on machinery that processes peanuts, that’s because the
Pernicious Peanut uses his great fortune and business empire to make sure that
peanuts are processed in every possible food production facility, in order to
facilitate allergic reactions in unsuspecting people from normally innocent
food products unrelated to and usually free of peanuts.
Yes, my friends, beware the dastardly, perfidious Pernicious
Peanut, the nefarious nut and lowdown legume.
(Other nuts could use the Pernicious Peanut in anti-peanut
attack ads, warning of his odious designs, and claiming that their nuts would
never do such reprehensible things as the sinister snack of peanuts.)
