We all know that most video games are horrible violent brain-rot-inducing time wasters, but no more! If you’re a parent, or an expectant parent, there’s a new breed of video game to help you master the skills necessary for productive parenting! Take a look:
Change the Diapers: Learn to change diapers without being peed upon in this thrilling adventure game play. Practice strategies for messless diaper changing every time. Once you master this game, you will be truly prepared for real life diaper-changing activities!
Eat Your Vegetables: The opposite of most video games, where you play a character who tries to grab as much for itself as possible, in this game you play a character (a parent) who tries to get another character (your baby or toddler: you choice of play mode!) to take as much stuff they don’t want as possible. And you have to get creative to get them to open their mouths, to find a way to get the vegetables into their mouth, and then to get them to swallow the veggies. Guaranteed for hours or fun-filled, educational entertainment!
Go to Bed: Most character-based video games are action-packed thrill-rides, but this is the opposite. Here players must calm down a child who is bouncing off the walls with energy, and make them go to bed. This challenging game of endurance and strategy is a character-building exercise future parents will want to harden themselves up on before experiencing the real thing for themselves!
Clean Your Room: Many video games include players who make quite the mess during game play (fighting games that produce blood splatter and body parts, military-style games that include explosions galore, tons of rubble and shrapnel, not to mention body parts, etc.), but this game is a far better example to our children, demonstrating the virtue of cleaning, rather than messing up, our surroundings. But as we all know, getting children to clean up their rooms is often a much more challenging task than defeating martial arts foes or routing alien armies. But parents will need to develop this skill, so here’s a challenging, fun-filled way to prepare!
Time Out/You’re Grounded: Characters in video games often do bad things (Grand Theft Auto, et. al.), but real live children will too. And while video game characters rarely, if ever, have to take responsibility for their actions in any real punitive sense (aside from losing a life or ending the game play {How many games include incarceration for their characters in the game play?}), it is important for children to get in trouble for their bad behavior or else risk their developing criminal tendencies. And since corporal punishment is frowned upon these days (see a certain football player’s recent legal trouble), new tactics in the war on naughtiness include things like time outs and groundings. This video game lets you choose to play in Time Out mode (for toddlers) and You’re Grounded Mode (for school-age children). Build your punishment skills to be a feared tactician and implementer of the time out/grounding before you have to do it in real life! Keep your kids out of jail in the future with this fun-filled virtual punishment practice!
Do Your Homework: With all those video games around, it’s hard to get kids to do their homework. That’s why there’s this video game to help parents build homework-forcing skills! Prepare to do intellectual battle against ignorance and apathy in your homework-resistant child by first mastering this enjoyable video game! In fact, many parents have found it a fruitful homework-encouraging strategy to simply play this video game on their computer and home entertainment system, hogging them all up, so the child has no other choice but to do their homework. (<Recommended Hack: Children’s cell phones must be confiscated prior to implementation of this strategy for a successful outcome to be achieved.)
Prepare for parenthood the right way with these educational video games!
