In a scenario similar to the movie Fifty Shades of Grey, a woman is taken to the “Red Room of Itch”, where she’s chained to the wall and tickled with feathers. Then a James Bond made of gold (He must have just escaped from Goldfinger’s clutches!) breaks into the room and sets our heroine free from the clutches of Itchfinger. Then the announcer says: “Break free from the bonds of itching, with Gold Bond Medicated Lotion!”
And then, naturally, the Gold Bond mascot would be a James Bond type guy, but covered in shiny gold, like Shirley Eaton was in Goldfinger. (<It would probably be too expensive to license the James Bond character, but wouldn’t it be fun if they did? {I suppose they could say that Gold Bond heals the world from irritants like James Bond helps foil SPECTRE’s evil plans, and as such, maybe James Bond copied them first?})
And then, in further ads, the shiny Gold Bond character would save different people from other itchy situations in a similarly heroic presentation of derring-do.
And the slogan could be: “Suffering from itching and irritation? Gold Bond will save you!”
And then, in further ads, the shiny Gold Bond character would save different people from other itchy situations in a similarly heroic presentation of derring-do.
And the slogan could be: “Suffering from itching and irritation? Gold Bond will save you!”
