After writing about a Preparation H commercial, I did some research online, and I found out about anal fissures. There’s got to be some medicine for that someone’s trying to sell, right? So I thought up an ad for a product for that purpose.
A man goes to a doctor about his anal fissures, and he tells the doctor that everyone calls him: “The Fissure King” because he has so many fissures. Then, during the exam, he tells the doctor about his fissures. The one on the top he calls: “Carrie Fissure”, the one on the bottom he calls: “Bobby Fissure”, and one on the side he calls: “Isla Fissure”. Then he gets some smaller ones sometimes he calls: “The Fissuremen”.
So his doctor recommends the product the ad is for, and the next time he sees his doctor he tells him all the fissures have gone away. But, he says, he kind of misses Carrie Fissure, as he’s an avid Star Wars fan.
