Audis are so great, people can’t even wait for them to show up at the dealerships! No, really: people are jumping onto the car carrier transport truck and climbing into the cars while they’re still on the road being delivered! And there’s so many of them doing it, there’s already someone else in the car they want when they get into it! Wow!
Or at least that’s what we’re supposed to think when we see this commercial. But I can’t help but think of other things when I see this spot. Like, for example, there’s the issue of the guy who climbs out of his BMW and onto the car carrier: he just puts his car into cruise control, opens the sun roof, and climbs out of his car, leaving it speeding down a crowded highway with no-one driving it. Isn’t this going to recklessly kill other motorists? And if Audi is building cars that are so irresistible that people can’t help themselves from doing reckless and depraved things like this to get one, and they’re still transporting them out in the open on the busy freeways where everyone can see them, aren’t they guilty of murder, or at least reckless endangerment and depraved indifference? (But in a capitalist economy, I’m sure the government will look the other way for a few campaign contributions.)
So when I see this ad, it makes me wonder why this guy in the BMW is willing to climb out of his car just to jump onto the truck. After all, for all he knows, these cars might be sold already, and his BMW is going to smash and kill people, so why not simply drive to the Audi dealership and drive over the salesmen and steal the Audi from there? I mean, if he’s going to kill people with his car anyway, why not at least go to where he can be sure he can get an Audi and drive it away? (It’s chained down to the car carrier anyway, so it’s not like he can just drive it off once he gets into it, right?)
Plus, there’s the issue of his BMW: aren’t the police going to be able to trace the car back to him, and won’t there be witnesses to say it was him who climbed out of it? So if he just did the thing at the Audi dealership, maybe he could leave no witnesses and then just say somebody must have stolen his car. Oh, and then that same person must have stolen the Audi from the dealership too and left it in his driveway just to incriminate him or something. That’s what I’d say. It might work, too, if he’s some executive jerk who got lots of people fired, or if he’s a banker who lost people’s investments, or got lots pf people foreclosed on; then it would make sense that someone is trying to frame him. Or maybe he’s just a greedy sociopath, so they’ll just figure he did it anyway.
Oh, but you know what this ad may be showing, but we just haven’t figured it out yet? Maybe this guy in the BMW has stolen it, and he’s trying to get away. But let’s say he also knows that the guy whose car it is has called the cops, and they’re out looking for him. Then he might climb out onto the truck to try to escape and hide in one of the Audis, right? And then if he just leaves the BMW he stole to careen out of control on the freeway, maybe it will wipe out all the witnesses, or at least hurt enough people and tie up traffic and the police for long enough that he can escape! And maybe the Audi dealership is actually a front for some criminal enterprise, so they arranged the whole thing!
In fact, maybe the guy actually works for some corrupt Audi dealership owned by a mob guy who is trying to put all his competition out of business! So then the mob guy sends the guy out to steal the BMW from a rival dealership, drive it out on the highway, climb out onto the truck, and leave it to wreck everyone on the highway so BMW looks bad, too! And maybe even the BMW dealer is tied up in the car to rub him out and also make him look guilty for the big accident when the BMW goes out of control! And so when the guy then gets into the Audi, and there’s already another guy in it, that just means that it’s another guy working for the mob who stole and wrecked another competitor’s car earlier (maybe a Lexus this time)!
So what do you think: does it sound plausible? It certainly makes me think more of stuff like that when I see this ad than it makes me think good things about Audi! Because look: the very least that could be going on here is that people are leaving their unattended cars whizzing down the freeway to kill unsuspecting fellow travelers. Now is that any way to try to make your brand look good?
Here’s the catastrophically out-of-control commercial:
