I’m surprised I can’t find this ad online yet, but I can’t. It’s seemingly so politically correct, with a woman fighting big scary robots. Or is it merely crass exploitation for horny young guys, making some sexy woman fight for their gratification? But maybe she’s just a robot, and she can’t help how she was made: Surely she deserves not to be judged then, right? After all, she’s fighting for humanity (or so it seems)! Or is she? Maybe we’re being hoodwinked here! Let’s see…
Here’s what the ad shows: Some warrior woman fights a bunch of big scary robots and kills them all. Actually, there’s only three of them, and she just fights them one at a time. (Sorry if I misled you there.) So she beats them all, and after beating them, she steals something from each robot, and then she builds some super computer thing out of it that they tell us is “made from machines, to rule all machines”. Awesome! Or is it?
They’re basically using the idea out of The Lord of the Rings, about the ring of power, the “one ring to rule them all” thing, right? But was that ring benevolent? No, it wasn’t! It was evil! So I guess this is their way of giving us fair warning that this new 4G LTE system is evil, and that it will bring on the rise of the machines, as foretold to us by that great prophet James Cameron in his Terminator movies!
Yes, you see, this woman is actually a cyborg terminator, and she’s fighting robots sent by mankind to try to save themselves! But she defeats them all, sealing mankind’s fate! And to add insult to injury, she uses components of our own robots to build the SkyNet computer system that ultimately destroys humanity! Oh, the irony! Oh, the humanity!
So it’s all Verizon’s fault, and they’re admitting it! Well, at least I appreciate their honesty. They’re going to destroy us all, and use our own money to finance it. Well, you can’t say they didn’t warn you! So to avoid destroying humanity, switch to AT&T! Oh, but then you have to deal with their crappy customer service and being nickeled and dimed to death on your bills! Oh well, maybe the destruction of all humankind won’t seem so bad after dealing with that for a while.
Here’s the teaser spot for this ad campaign, so you’ll recognize her when you see her (It’s the first video):
And for those of you who don’t know about the ring of power from The Lord of the Rings, here’s the Wikipedia page about it (and it’s Wikipedia, so you know it’s accurate about geeky stuff like The Lord of the Rings, since it was obviously written by nerds! {Seriously: Look at the size of this article about the ring! Couldn’t they have just said: “It’s the ring from The Lord of the Rings, and it controls everybody. Oh, and it like makes you invisible and stuff.”?}):
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/One_Ring
And here's the actual arena ad (sorry I couldn't find it for awhile):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A-K71MpwCko&feature=relmfu
And here's the actual arena ad (sorry I couldn't find it for awhile):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A-K71MpwCko&feature=relmfu
