A couple watches their television set with absolute fanatic devotion in this commercial for “The Erotic Networks”. I’m not sure if this applies to all cable television systems, including satellite, or if it’s just for Charter subscribers. I’m not big on the porno myself, so I don’t really know much about such things. But looking at this ad doesn’t make me want to get initiated either. I mean, sure, the couple is watching their television, and they look interested and everything; but they actually look a little too interested, like they’re addicted to it or something. In fact, isn’t that what opponents/critics of pornography say about it: that it’s unhealthy and addictive, and that it can drive couples apart?
Oh, yes, I forgot to mention that last part, didn’t I? Sorry about that. Yes, you see, the two people who make up the couple, who are staring compulsively at their TV set, are not actually watching it together, but rather, they’re watching it separately. The woman is on the couch, sitting, staring at the TV like she’s glued in place. Then, the guy comes up behind the couch, or he was there already, or whatever, and he’s holding a bag of groceries or something, and he’s just frozen in place, staring at the screen. They don’t say hello, they don’t sit together, they don’t interact at all; they’re just both in their own little world, independently obsessed with the porno by themselves, even though they’re in the same room. The world could end, and they wouldn’t care; in fact, one of them could be killed, and the other one wouldn’t notice at all.
I know about that last point, that one of them could be killed and the other one wouldn’t even care or notice, because the ad has a wrecking ball come smashing through the house, and it takes the guy out. Well, the lady of the house doesn’t even notice; in fact, maybe she arranged the whole thing to get rid of him so she could watch porno by herself all the time! But too bad for her: he survives, and we see him swinging back and forth through the room on the wrecking ball; hanging on, but still staring at the television set as though there is nothing in the whole world that has any importance so long as that porno is on. Well, this scenario may seem like a good idea to the advertising department of the company who markets these “adult” channels, but for me, this ad simply serves to confirm every unhealthy effect critics charge will happen to people who watch too much porn. And the sad thing is, the people who market this porno crap probably don’t care if the stuff harms people at all, so long as they pay for it. Oh, and they obviously don’t care if the commercial makes it look like it’s harmful and addictive, either.
But that’s what detractors say about porn: that it drives couples apart, and that it’s addictive, and the rest of the world no longer matters to people who consume a lot of pornography. Well, I’d say that’s the message of this ad, in a nutshell. Don’t you think so? It sure doesn’t make it look like a fun activity; it just makes it look like an unhealthy obsession. Who knows, maybe this was the secret goal of the creatives who conceived of this spot: to subvert the message of the ad, and to make it look unhealthy. (It's happened before: In 2000, there was a print ad for Kool cigarettes that said the package had a "NU LOOK", and the "NU" and the "LOOK" were in huge letters, and they were on separate lines, with a couple of reversed letters, so that when you saw it in the mirror, it clearly said: "UN KOOL".) Well, if that was their intent, then mission accomplished, and a good job, too!
But if they want to sell this type of service, here’s how I think they should have done it (although selling this type of service {i.e.: porno pay channels} isn’t high up on my list of things I’d want to do, this is just as a case in point of how to do this effectively, if perhaps unrealistically): Show a couple who has fallen into a dull routine and are bored with each other and tired at the end of the day. They sit apart and ignore each other, making excuses for why they don’t want to do stuff together. So the woman decides to order the pay cable porno channels to spice up their home life and their love life (I told you it might be a tad unrealistic). Then the couple comes home from work, and the lady of the house has the house set up with candles and a nice take-out dinner. Then, she turns on the TV and turns it to the new “adult” programming. They both become turned on by what’s on the TV, and they have an enthusiastic evening together on the couch.
Anyway, this is how I think it would have worked better. But maybe these companies realize that porno tends to drive couples apart, and people end up spending a lot of time alone watching it, and so they didn’t want to engage in false advertising. Who knows. Some couples do watch “adult” entertainment together, from what I understand, but I think it’s kinda rare. Anyway, perhaps my idea for a couple coming together through porn would tend to alienate all the lonely singles out there who just like to watch alone and masturbate; and so that's why they showed the couple ignoring each other in the ad: so it looks like being in a couple isn't any better than just watching the porn by yourself. Oh well; I told you I wouldn’t want to advertise this sort of thing anyway.
I’m sorry, I can’t find the ad I’m talking about online, but here’s a different one I hadn’t seen before (At least it’s kinda funny.):
Actually, sorry: here it is! I found it, but it’s a pretty small video of it, so sorry about that. You have to click on the middle video clip, the one with the word: “Captivating” written across the picture, called “Wrecking Ball”:
The funniest thing about this ad for me is that despite the fact that the couple are not sitting together, and they’re clearly not paying any attention to each other either, at the end of the ad, the announcer says: “Put a little spark back in your relationship” (!). But this couple is clearly ignoring each other completely, captivated instead by the programming on their television set: so much so, that they might as well be apart and alone. Ridiculous!
Oh, and the guy is holding a bowl of popcorn, not a bag of groceries. Sorry, I remembered it wrong. I do that these days sometimes.
