I was watching the news with a friend, and we were flipping through the channels during ads, and we wound up on Hannity, where this guy Bill Cunningham was talking about whether Light Squared had donated money to Obama, and if the White House pressured some guy to perjure himself to Congress, yadda yadda. So my friend says (re: Bill Cunningham): “That guy looks like a Muppet.” And I looked at him for a second and said: “No, actually he looks like a Rankin/Bass marionette. Look at the lines around his mouth: doesn’t it make him look like a marionette?” And my friend agreed, saying that’s what he had meant all along, but that “Muppet” is a sort-of catch-all for all puppetesque looks on people, which I had to agree with. In fact, it’s the very term I myself would have used first, had he not done it himself.
And the fact that Bill Cunningham looks like a Rankin/Bass marionette is especially apropos to me, seeing as how he’s a bigtime conservative guy (I think he’s a radio talk show guy or something). So it might help explain how he got to be the way he is. Can’t you just see him with all the other elves at the North Pole, carrying around all those dentist implements, trying to practice dentistry? Well, Santa and the elves gave him such a hard time for wanting to make his own way in the world through private enterprise, it turned him off to Santa’s commie ways forever! (BTW: Johnny Carson established years ago that Santa Claus is a communist with a 60 Minutes skit which pointed out that Santa Claus has a RED suit {the color of communism}, and looks like Karl Marx with that big white beard. Plus, he gives stuff away for free and treats everyone equally {supposedly}.) And so after failing at his dream job of dentistry due to leftist conspiracies, he decided to make a career bashing socialist policies. And so that’s why he looks like a Rankin/Bass marionette: because he is one!
This is Bill Cunningham, for those of you who don’t know who he is (This is a picture of him before he got those lines around his mouth. It couldn’t be that I was mistaken about the Rankin/Bass character. Nope: no way. Okay, maybe.):
