Okay, this is just silly, having some creepy excrement-obsessed lady pontificate didactic drivel about laxatives in some wedding toast in a commercial. But after all, what are they expected to do for a laxative ad? Have some porno actor complain about how constipation ruined his career in scheize movies, since he couldn’t poop on his co-star on cue, so now he trusts his regularity to Phillips' Colon Heath? (Sorry if I spelled "scheize" wrong. I’m not into that perverted crap. {<Ooh! A double-meaning!}) I mean, there’s really only a finite amount of stuff you can do with it, I guess. And adding that non-sequitur Jerry Maguire quote at the end doesn't distract enough to make us forget it either.
One company did a great ad where some couple is dancing, but the woman is being pulled toward the bathroom by a length of toilet paper tied around her ankle (!): now that’s a great ad for a laxative! But this wedding ad for Phillips’ Colon Health is just silly. But it’s so silly, that I can’t forget it, and maybe that’s all it’s supposed to do, anyway. For you see, while that ad with the toilet paper making that dancing lady feel “chained to the bathroom” is great, I can’t remember the brand of laxative it’s advertising for. In fact, initially I thought it was an ad for an anti-diarrhea product, like Kaopectate, due to the toilet paper trying to pull her into the bathroom. And you have to listen to the announcer to know what it's all about, while most people watch the ads with the mute on. Oh well.
The message is really the important thing, isn’t it? If you don’t remember the product, you might as well have never seen the ad as far as the sales of the product are concerned. So then what’s the point to even make and run the ad, if that’s the case? But I ought to remember that laxative from the other ad, because it’s such a great idea for a laxative ad, and they should be rewarded for that! And if it’s all about remembering the name of the product, then Head On should be the best ad of all time, rather than one of the worst. But hey: I guess it did its job so well, they only had to run it for a little while, and then they could just stop and let the products sell on their own merits (which aren’t many, or of any quality, from what I understand). Yeah, I think Head On was owned and made by the same people who made Chaser, since the ads for both products ran around the same time, and then just dropped off the air at around the same time too; but you can still go buy both products at CVS Pharmacy, I think, just in case you’re planning on drinking a lot, having the Chaser not work (as per usual), and using the Head On to cure your hangover headache (which it won’t).
Anyway, here’s the Phillips’ Colon Health Wedding ad:
Did I have you at “probiotic”? Maybe they should have Jamie Summers as “The Probiotic Woman”? Hey, I’ve seen worse ideas! (Like this wedding one.)
