Some football player in pads and a white uniform flies around people’s houses on fairy wings, browbeating guys into buying the DirecTV football package, and berating them for not watching every football game there is, one after the other, in this ad for the NFL on DirecTV. The funny thing is, this “Football Fairy” is about maybe 5 inches tall, so it’s lucky he hasn’t landed in any homes with cats yet. They’d catch and devour him in a matter of seconds, no matter how fast or agile he is. If cats can catch hummingbirds without any problem (and they do, believe me!), then I think this guy hasn’t got a chance! But maybe if he carried a little supersoaker water gun with him, he’d be safe. (Cats hate getting squirted with water!)
But never mind all that; what I want to know is this: where are all these guys’ wives and girlfriends with flyswatters and rolled-up newspapers trying to smush and kill this Football Fairy before he can tell their men about all the football games they’re missing? If they know about how they can watch every game, they’ll watch them instead of cutting the grass, or visiting their in-laws, etc. Then they’d get in fights with their wives all the time! How come they’ve never shown us the real story? And when are they going to show us all the divorces and lost jobs that happen as a result of this service? Oh, but then the guys would really, truly be free to watch every game, wouldn’t they?
Do they offer free service for guys who get dumped by their wives of fired from their jobs for watching too much football? They ought to! Otherwise, they may run out of customers pretty fast!
Here is an example of one of the Football Fairy ads:
