This ad shows someone calling Scan Health Plan on the phone, and they get some lady who seems bored and stuff on the phone. (Maybe she’s just not a professional actress, so she comes off as “wooden” onscreen.) Then they say that when you call them, you get “a live person”, and that that’s how they’re different.
So does this mean that other companies are using dead people to answer their phones? Oh my God! The dead have risen from their graves to take our jobs! No wonder the economy is in such bad shape! They’ll work for nothing! Haven’t you seen the movie White Zombie? No wonder so many major corporations are sitting on record piles of cash: they've got zombies working for them for free! (It really brings new meaning to the expression: "Killing jobs"!) And really, who but a zombie could stand doing the customer call center job, dealing with angry people yelling at them all day long? Maybe that's why they're always trying to feast upon our flesh: they're getting revenge for being abused on the phone by living people day-in and day-out for nothing! (And I'm a bit surprised that Scan Health Plan doesn't use dead people to answer their phones: as a medical company, you'd think they'd have plenty of access to dead bodies. Right?)
But if I hear the dead people on the phone ask for my brain, I’m hanging up. Maybe they’ve figured out a way to slurp our brains out over the phone lines!
