Some teenage-looking couple is starting to make out on a couch, and the girl asks her fellow: “You have something, right?” So he says: “Sure”, he checks his pockets, and damn if he wasn’t lying all along! You see, he’s out of Dentyne Ice gum! That’s the only protection young fornicating couples need, right? No?
Well, perhaps this is a cautionary tale about teen pregnancy, told to us by those arbiters of social conscience: Dentyne. See: this is what happens when there is no sufficient sex education in our nation’s schools! All the kids think “protection” refers to mint gum for fresh breath! And then we wonder why there is so much unwanted teen pregnancy! Well, thank God there’s Dentyne to remind us of the dangers of teenage sex!
Or isn’t that what they’re doing here? For surely they aren’t making fun of this very serious problem, now are they? I’m surprised at them! Oh, for shame…
This is actually a pretty funny ad. But I have to wonder if there are kids who get more sex education from this commercial than from school: You know, like in the hyper-religious states, where sex education is so minimal, they get easily snookered into letting guys like Warren Jeffs rape them and such, because they don't know any better. Maybe this ad really does remind us that sex education is important after all! (When you look a little beneath the surface, this could make a good college paper. You know: where you make an argument about something that isn’t really there, and they pretend you’re right? Hey, don’t knock it: most college professors make their living like that! {Read their books if you don’t believe me!})
But you know, there’s another issue here. For you see, when the guy takes the empty gum blisterpack out of his pocket, he’s totally out, right? So this guy is obviously cheating on his girlfriend! Otherwise, where’d all that gum go? I know what’s up with this car-pool Casanova! Plus, he’s a peeping Tom too, for he went running right out to go stare into lover’s lane car windows, didn’t he? So maybe he just threw all that gum in the trash so he’d have an excuse to go on a voyeuristic spree, and then have a witness to cover for his excuse in case he got caught! Either way, he’s a letch!
Here’s the ad:
