Yes, it's Halloween, which means lots of "fun size" candy bars. But is this such a good idea, conditioning our children to associate eating candy with fun? Surely this is how the obesity epidemic got started! So I think we need more government regulations to be sure to warn everyone of the obesity risk of eating candy, and to make sure kids never associate food with enjoyment, especially candy.
So what I propose is to ban the term: "fun size", and replace it with the term: "binge size". That way everyone will immediately think of eating disorders whenever they see a candy wrapper.
Oh, but that's not all, for we also must mandate the same type of disgustingly graphic warnings the government tried to put on cigarette packaging, but on candy packaging, and using images related to obesity: pictures of morbidly obese people's corpses, graphic depictions of liposuction and big containers of gooey human fat, etc. That way kids will never eat candy again and they'll always be healthy, eating only salads and such! (Oh, but kids love gross stuff, don't they? Oops, maybe this wouldn't work after all. But let's do it anyway, just to spoil everyone's fun, okay?)
Or are the "binge size" candy bars the really big ones? I can never keep that stuff straight.
