President Obama spoke on the telephone with the new Iranian president over the weekend, beginning what may be a new era in improved American/Iranian relations. But could this phone call backfire, leading to disaster? Critics always want to say everything President Obama does is an unmitigated disaster, so they’ll want to claim this will have horrendous consequences. But what could possibly go wrong? I’ll try to predict some possible disastrous consequences that could come from this Obama-Rouhani telephone call:
Iran will sell the White House telephone number to a telemarketing company, then they’ll deny having done it, and then they’ll keep selling each new phone number to all the telemarketers and robocall companies they can find, derailing all diplomatic and political efforts at the White House due to the endless stream of marketing phone calls.
Iran will order pizzas and Chinese food for delivery to the White House at all hours of the day and night just to harass the president and his staff.
Iran will accuse America of making prank phone calls on weekend nights, citing the private White House phone number, getting President Obama in trouble with the United Nations, while at the same time the Revolutionary Guard will make lots of prank calls to the White House that they will record and release on YouTube to humiliate America.
President Rouhani will give President Obama a fake phone number that ends up being for some sex line that would get our president in trouble with his wife and embarrass him publicly as a phone sex aficionado.
President Rouhani could call President Obama on the phone, with statements leading him to make disparaging statements about other world leaders, and then he could secretly let those leaders listen in on the conversation, or else record it and post it for everyone to hear, creating a diplomatic nightmare for the United States.
And, failing the last one, Iran will make recordings of President Obama’s voice and get a computer or voice actor to pretend to be President Obama, and then they could create a fake summit telephone call which embarrasses America on the world stage when “our president” makes insulting comments about other world leaders and cracks offensive jokes.
