Student Government Easier Than Ever Before

Student government is intended to give students experience with governing, but it takes a lot of time. Or it used to, until the current crop of leaders in D.C. showed kids how to gain governing experience in much less time than ever before. Following Washington's example, student governments now just refuse to meet, negotiate or compromise, blame the other side, and never meet again for the rest of the year, leaving participants free to pursue other extracurricular activities. Yes, thanks to our efficient leaders in the federal government setting a new example of what leadership entails, everyone can find the time for student government: even extra-studious football players on the debate team and the marching band who volunteer to help the homeless and work two jobs to save up money for college!