Apparently, if their ads are to be believed, Burberry (Yes, the company that made your grandfather’s raincoat.) has some really hip cologne for the young celebrity set. I don’t know if anyone will buy it, but they make it.
But just to help them sell something, I thought I’d try to think up something that might work well with their already well-known branding. (When was the last time a British band owed their success to Burberry?)
Hey, how about Burberry Badass Plaid-Ass Cologne? (Or Badass Plaid, or Plaid-Ass Cologne?) Aren’t they famous for their plaid lining and scarves? Or, thinking of scarves, maybe they could make one called: Scarf Barf? Or: Beer in the Cashmere? Or maybe: I Leer at Cashmere? No? Oh well, I’m just trying to help.
But if this stuff catches on anyway, what they could do in the future is have ads showing how anyone who doesn’t use their cologne will get tangled up in the Burberry plaid and die in some alternate universe where the plaid is like a barbed-wire boundary into the real world (like in The Yellow Wallpaper), and in order to escape damnation, you must buy and use the Burberry cologne, no matter how unreasonably expensive it is.
(Just kidding, Burberry! I used to wear a Burberry raincoat in college, so please don’t condemn me to eternity in your tartan prison, from which there is no escape!)
