President Obama Admits Healthcare Law Was Only a Practical Joke Played on Republicans

“Republicans were such absolute jerks to me from the beginning, so I had to figure some way to get them back. So I thought this healthcare bill up, knowing they would hate it, especially a new entitlement when we already have a national debt crisis. I figured they would act like such assholes, everyone would hate them. And it worked!” said the President Monday. “I tried to keep it going for as long as I could, but I can’t believe how long they fell for it! I mean, especially this new bit where we hired a foreign company during an American jobs crisis, and paid them over $300 Million to build a website that doesn’t even work? And I said it would lower costs, but it’s more than doubling most people’s health insurance premiums? Who would do something like that? It’s so obviously a joke, I can’t believe they fell for it! And for so long, too! Ha ha ha! I can’t believe it…” he added, choking back tears as he guffawed his way onto the floor of the presidential podium. Republican spokesmen were scrambling late Monday to claim they knew it all along, and that the government shutdown was their return practical joke to get the president back, but nobody was buying it. Yes, they fell for it, all right. And what a joke it is. But I’m sure we’re all laughing with them.